Celebrity Ricki Lake posted on her Instagram on February 14th.

“It is with a heavy heart that I share that my beloved soulmate, Christian Evans has passed. He succumbed to his life long struggle with bipolar disorder.”

Instantly I knew what she meant. And how she felt.

And then the flood of comments, mostly support; love, best wishes, sorry for your loss. But as all of us entangled in this complicated world of mental illness and/or addiction know the lack of understanding or compassion towards our loved one will rear its ugly head.

Instantly I began reading, “Selfish” and “No one dies from bipolar.” I stopped reading, after all I know how it goes.

I disagree. People do die every day from bipolar disorder and other illnesses. Personally, I don’t think anyone dies from suicide.

I have spent my entire life surrounded by alcohol addiction, it is on many branches of my family tree. Just like Ricki Lake, I loved someone very much that struggled in this life but lost his brave battle in March of 2012.

I spent over six years, six long painful years obsessed and determined to save my younger brother from addiction, he and I both making many mistakes along the way. In 2005, this had become such a crazy, out of control story, that I started keeping notes, I didn’t think anyone would believe this could happen from “just alcohol.”

While most stories of it’s kind give you just a partial glimpse, it has always been my intent to tell the WHOLE story, without shame, beginning at childhood. We know now, and what I didn’t know then, is that childhood trauma and/or sexual abuse can cause anxiety, depression, more severe mental health issues, alcohol, drug addiction and yes, even suicidal ideation. Proudly my memoir, The Sun is Gone, was just released and instantly hit #1 on Amazon.

For a small town girl, having grown up in Red Deer and now living just minutes away in Sylvan Lake I am blissfully proud. Within a couple days I got my first newspaper interview, after all I can’t do this without the support of the media, and I am on my way! Yippee! My brother Brett and I together are going to save lives. Create a conversation. Eliminate the shame and stigma. And help families. The article was published the very next day.

I got to the second sentence and lost my breath…ENDED WITH HIS SUICIDE.  What?  His suicide?!
 
Those simple words threw me off. And I started to cry. I spent over three years writing, a girl on a mission; calculated and precise. I knew exactly how I wanted to tell this story. It was always my intent that no one know the ending in advance. Not because I am hiding or ashamed or trying to pull a fast one, but rather allowing everyone to experience our journey, just as we did. What it really “feels” like while also giving knowledge, courage, encouraging compassion, empathy and most importantly, hope.

The world health organization estimates that over a million people die from suicide each year. 30,000 in the USA and 3800 in Canada. As long as we continue to zoom in on just that “one word” we will not be looking in the right direction, losing sight of the issue at hand; the causes and help for depression, anxiety, bipolar, borderline personality disorder, addiction and all the other things that lead to someone taking their own life.

I have watched a loved one pass away from Cancer. Taking what was once a strong, energetic, virile man that would eventually be confined to a hospital bed, unable to speak, with feeding tubes, weight loss and he became a shell of what was once a man. When his heart finally could not take it anymore, no one would ever say that he died from heart failure.

My brother did not die from Suicide.

My brother died a slow, painful, agonizing death from Alcoholism. Did he take his own life? Yes. But that does not change that fact. Had my brother found sobriety, and help for mental health issues, he would still be anxious, uncomfortable and have to find the strength within himself to work through his pain. He would have had complicated struggles with family and all of life’s difficulties that we all have. But he would be alive.

And had Ricki Lake’s beloved ex-husband, not struggled with bipolar, he would be alive too.

Jodee Prouse is a Speaker and outspoken advocate to eliminating the shame and stigma surrounding Addiction and Mental Illness. She is the author of the Amazon best seller, The Sun is Gone: A Sister Lost in Secrets, Shame, and Addiction, and How I Broke Free. Visit jodeeprouse.com to learn more.