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Bruce Dowbiggin

Fools In The Crown: The Coronation Comedy

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The anticipation has been building for the Windsors Coronation Special. Longtime followers of the British Royal family have been awaiting this moment for years, and it’s about to arrive with all the key figures: King Charles III, Camilla, Will & Kate, Harry and Meghan and the rest of the bejewelled crew.

Saturday’s the big day for Royal watchers, right? Uh, no. We are talking about the Coronation Special for the TV program The Windsors. Not a documentary. Not high drama like The Crown. No this Windsor family TV epic is a hilariously scathing production of Britain’s Channel 4 that has been tickling viewers since it debut in 2016.

Think the puppets of Spitting Images crossed with the lunacy of Monty Python and you get some idea of the tone of the four-part series and now the 90-minute special shown in Britain last Sunday. The half-hour episodes leave amused viewers with a vision of King Charles’ brood that they won’t be able to unsee.

Out of respect for Queen Elizabeth she was never depicted in the series. Prince Philip only appears offscreen via caustic letters to the members of his clan.  The rest of the Windsors, however, are manic dolts wrestling with the issues of the day— Meghan Markle only appears midway through the series— lampooned by the creators of the show.

The portrayals are savagely funny and the actors spare no feelings as they satirize the Windsors who “dress up in silly costumes and remember that we once had an empire”.  The now-King is a dim, jug-eared, kilt-wearing pedant intent on keeping Prince William from the throne. Camilla is Lady Macbeth, intent on conquest and riches. Prince Will is a well-meaning sap, while Kate is trying to deny her gypsy blood. Andrew is a half-wit frat boy captivated by Markle’s showbiz aspirations.

Prince Andrew is pure slime, Prince Edward a hapless twit being pursued by nasty Bulgarians, Princess Anne is a frosty harridan. And so on. It is wicked fun. Prime ministers come and go. Donald Trump has an episode. Fergie and her daughters Eugene and Beatrice are Valley girls forever chasing fame of their own.  For keen viewers of British TV, some of the actors (Harry Enfield as King Charles/ Hugh Skinner as Prince William/ Hades Gwynn as Camilla) may be familiar from previous roles. But all will now be known for The Windsors.

Princess Anne – Vicki Pepperdine

The acid sketch of the Windsors has found a willing audience amongst people whose enthusiasm for Charles as King is minimal as he ascends the throne. Several former nations of the Empire agree and have become republics in response to the underwhelming notion that the Climate Alarmist is now King.

Some have suggested Canada follow that lead in tossing Charles overboard. As we wrote in April 2016, “In this, he has only himself to blame. Rejecting tradition, Charles has been a politicized Prince, adopting positions on a range of issues. To wit, his embrace of the global-warming hype has been an embarrassment to the Royal family— or it should be. 

In one particular gust of enthusiasm for relevance, the kilted one warned in 2009 that the earth had “100 months” to avoid a climate catastrophe. When that went over worse than cold haggis, he extended his dire warning to 35 years to save the earth, i.e.. when he has already joined the choir invisible. 

Charles has also railed against modernization and energy policies that threaten his pristine seventeenth century vision of life. This is a fine position when you can retreat to Balmoral for a ramble or a little trout fishing in the royal brook. For those who don’t have six palaces in the portfolio taking the Luddite life is more problematic

The question is, what should Canadians do? How will Charles as King play in the former Dominion. Charles is still an abstraction to Canadians outside of his unpleasant representation in the film The Queen and his role in the death of his wife Princess Diana. Certainly none of his aesthetic causes has seized the public imagination. While Canadians— even Quebeckers— have come to embrace his mother over the decades, will there be a similar rapprochement with Charles when he finally gets his hands on the orb?”

But as Phillip Legacé points out in The Line: “As constitutional killjoys are quick to point out, we’ve made it nearly impossible to remove the King and replace the Crown. Doing so requires all provinces and houses of the federal Parliament to agree under the unanimous amending formula. Also, even if there was a general consensus about becoming a republic, the negotiations would get hijacked by every other provincial demand and grievance.”

So if Canadians are to be stuck with Charles and the Windsors we should at least be able to laugh at them. It’s our constitutional right to enjoy the Fools In The Crown.

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Bruce Dowbiggin @dowbboy is the editor of Not The Public Broadcaster  A two-time winner of the Gemini Award as Canada’s top television sports broadcaster, he’s a regular contributor to Sirius XM Canada Talks Ch. 167. Inexact Science: The Six Most Compelling Draft Years In NHL History, his new book with his son Evan, was voted the seventh-best professional hockey book of all time by bookauthority.org . His 2004 book Money Players was voted sixth best on the same list, and is available via http://brucedowbigginbooks.ca/book-personalaccount.aspx

 

BRUCE DOWBIGGIN Award-winning Author and Broadcaster Bruce Dowbiggin's career is unmatched in Canada for its diversity and breadth of experience . He is currently the editor and publisher of Not The Public Broadcaster website and is also a contributor to SiriusXM Canada Talks. His new book Cap In Hand was released in the fall of 2018. Bruce's career has included successful stints in television, radio and print. A two-time winner of the Gemini Award as Canada's top television sports broadcaster for his work with CBC-TV, Mr. Dowbiggin is also the best-selling author of "Money Players" (finalist for the 2004 National Business Book Award) and two new books-- Ice Storm: The Rise and Fall of the Greatest Vancouver Canucks Team Ever for Greystone Press and Grant Fuhr: Portrait of a Champion for Random House. His ground-breaking investigations into the life and times of Alan Eagleson led to his selection as the winner of the Gemini for Canada's top sportscaster in 1993 and again in 1996. This work earned him the reputation as one of Canada's top investigative journalists in any field. He was a featured columnist for the Calgary Herald (1998-2009) and the Globe & Mail (2009-2013) where his incisive style and wit on sports media and business won him many readers.

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Bruce Dowbiggin

With Carney On Horizon This Is No Time For Poilievre To Soften His Message

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Canada awaits the outcome of Canada/ USA Hockey Armageddon II it’s fair to assess just how much a single hockey game has sharpened the focus on the political line brawl between the the nations. The proxies on skates have revealed a few truths about contemporary Canada.

While the Liberal party has suspended reality so that it can pretty-up Mark Carney, Canada’s media instead fawns over conflicting polls showing a Kamala Harris-like ascension of Carney to contender status. Meanwhile, Donald Trump’s Canadian rhetoric gets more belligerent as his 30-day tariff reprieve runs out. Finally, Canadian businessman Kevin O’Leary has advised Trump to delay the tariff Apocalypse till Canada can get an election done.

The common denominator in all this is Conservative leader Pierre Polievre. Or, at least, the mystery of Pierre Poliievre. There are several Poilievres in circulation. There is the Liberal/ NDP version of a nasty wolverine who savages innocent reporters and talks down his nose to opponents.; Next, there is the sunset media’s version of an untested slogan-reciting automaton.

And finally there is the Paul Ryan nerd clone who thrives on explaining kitchen-table economics to people awash in debt and despairing of ever getting ahead in DEI land. Which is the real deal? And does Poilievre himself know who he is anymore?

This distinction is important because, barring a charisma implant for Mark Carney, Poilievre will be the next prime minister, likely with a healthy majority. Neither of the first two Poilievre constructs will disappear soon, of course. The comms teams on the Left are determined to ride over Poilievre, however bad the polls. You need only look at the how the vanquished Left in the U.S. still acts as if they, not Trump, won a mandate last November to understand that Liberals are loath to accept any public rebuke.

The best place to answer the question of who is PP does not come from his apple-eating defenestration of the hapless reporter in B.C. While the MAGA right worshipped that moment and other slap-downs of the press— and the Left demonized him for it— it seems that the Poliievre being groomed by his advisors is meant to be softer and more statesmanlike.

His Saturday rally in Ottawa, shortly before the Canada/ USA hockey brawl, was a good place to start. In the face of Trump’s imminent tariff threat gone was the pitiless street fighter and in came the statesman, full of talk about the glories of Canada and why America needs us.

He seemed intent on tying up the Boomer vote with this speech. Oh wait. Boomers still love Liberals and Carney. Why is Poilievre going after that unwinnable demographic? Isn’t that the quicksand every Conservative, save Steven Harper, has floundered in? But there was Poilievre wandering into Liberal Speak, trying to list the benefits of the nation’s past.

Real Canadians– eg those not voting for Carney– know what a great place it can be. They don’t need to be given a Tourism Canada commercial. And as we wrote last week younger Canadians need a reason to reject Trump’s offer of citizenship. Poilievre needed to level with Canadians about what happened the past decade on defence, crime, DEI. He needed to be frank about money laundering, fentanyl production and the penetration of China’s Communists into the fabric of the land.

While his handlers seemingly urged him to go statesman,  Canadians were willing to hear the truth, not another Carney eye glazer. He needed to channel Harry “Give ‘Em Hell” Truman (“I tell my opponents the truth and it feels like hell.” ) He needed to say he’ll be pitiless in his treatment of those (media, PSA) who stand in the way of a bright new day. As so often happens it was CPC playing on Liberals turf instead of staking out their own. Canada already has Doug Ford, they’re saying. We don’t need another mushy Tory.

Poilievre concluded with a Churchill barb about how America will always do the right thing— after they’ve exhausted the other possibilities. It was an unnecessary and provocative one liner from a guy who’s try to establish his bonafides as the capable negotiator for Canada O’Leary is promising he’ll be. Did he and his brain trust think the thin-skinned Trump would simply slough off the jibe?

It is performances like these that leave Canadians wondering if they’re voting for Poilievre or simply voting against Trudeau and the thoroughly corrupt Liberal/ NDP coalition. Wobbly performances like this will lead to vote leakage to Liberals and to Maxime Bernier’s People’s Party of Canada. Bernier has urged a realistic assessment of Canada’s precarious position vis a vis the USA.

Instead of perpetuating the shopworn homilies to 1970s Canada that have expired, Bernier suggests looking at the opportunities of closer economic— not cultural— cooperation with the Americans. Let Liberal/ NDP moan about collaboration. They’re like the three little pigs expecting their houses of straw and twigs will survive the ongoing attacks of China and international money laundering.

Poilievre has to stop pretending that a heavily indebted and structurally crumbling Canada can withstand the next four years of Trump bombast. He must have an intervention with the Canadian public to bring them to the bracing reality they face. Only when they know which side is up, away from Trudeau, will they start to climb out of this mess.

Bruce Dowbiggin @dowbboy is the editor of Not The Public Broadcaster  A two-time winner of the Gemini Award as Canada’s top television sports broadcaster. His new book Deal With It: The Trades That Stunned The NHL And Changed Hockey is now available on Amazon. Inexact Science: The Six Most Compelling Draft Years In NHL History, his previous book with his son Evan, was voted the seventh-best professional hockey book of all time by bookauthority.org. You can see all his books at brucedowbigginbooks.ca.

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Bruce Dowbiggin

Team Canada Hits American Wall. Wall Wins. Now What?

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You wanted a border war? You got a border war. And just like the political conflict this one came down to Canada’s defence. Or lack of same.

After weeks of a phoney war of words between Canada’s abdicated leadership and America’s newly elected Trump administration, the question of Canada’s sovereignty crystallized Saturday on a hockey rink in Montreal. It was a night few will forget. The 3-1 score of Team U.S. over Team Canada being secondary to other outcomes.

Despite public calls for mutual respect, the sustained booing of the American national anthem and the Team Canada invocation by MMA legend Georges St. Pierre was answered by the Tkachuck brothers, Matthew and Brady, with a series of fights in the first nine seconds of the game. Three fights to be exact when former Canuck J.T. Miller squared up with Brandon Hagel. (All three U.S.players have either played on or now play for Canadian NHL teams.)

Premeditated and nasty. To say nothing of the vicious mugging of Canada’s legend Sidney Crosby behind the U.S. net moments later by Charlie McEvoy.

Those who’d expected a solidarity moment pregame to counter booing the anthem had been optimistic. “Kinda think it might be more fitting for the US team to go stand shoulder to shoulder with the Canadians, under the circumstances. That, I’d cheer.,” said Andrew Coyne. Wrong again.

Expecting a guys’ weekend like the concurrent NBA All Star game, the fraternal folks instead got a Pier Six brawl. It was the most stunning beginning to a game most could remember in 50 years. (Not least of all the rabid Canadian fanbase urging patriotism in the home of Quebec separation) Considering this Four Nations event was the NHL’s idea to replace the tame midseason All Star Game where players apologize for bumping into each other during a casual skate, the tumult as referees tried to start the game was shocking.

But in unprecedented times who could have predicted the outcome? Under-siege Canadians were represented by fans wearing flashing red lights. They’d been urged on by yahoos in the Canadian media to boo everything American they saw, unaware but uncaring if it ruled out Americans playing in a Canadian city when they get the chance.

“It’s also more political than the (1972) Summit Series was,” bawled Toronto Star columnist Bruce Arthur, “because Canada’s existence wasn’t on the line then, and it may be now. You’re damn right Canadians should boo the anthem.”

He got what he asked for. It was as if large segments of Canada had suddenly awoken to their fate in the weeks since incoming POTUS Donald Trump’s tariff threats forced PM Justin Trudeau to resign and prorogue Parliament so his Liberals could stage a succession plan. Or maybe, according to Liberal house leader Karin Gould, postpone the election.

Instead of looking inward to examine what Canada had done to invite trouble the target was instead on Trump, who many believe is supposed to act like a beneficent older brother to Canada. Indignant Canadians are suddenly cancelling winter vacations to the U.S. while boycotting American chain stores like Home Depot and Costco. Even though Canada’s military is a token force following years of Trudeau downsizing and DEI incursions, the sunset media invokes Vimy Ridge and D-Day in their disgust with Trump, who wants Canada (and NATO allies) to actually pay for their defence.

Earlier in the day, presumptive PM Pierre Poilievre echoed the Liberal line with a rally for Canadian unity that would have worked in 1995, not 2025. In a move he may regret he quoted Churchill’s barb that Americans will always do the right thing after every other option has been exhausted. It drew cheap laughs. With luck, Trump’s animus to Trudeau will overshadow this potshot in a critical moment. Or maybe not.

The TV commercials from Canada’s corporate side waved the patriot flag, too. Leading one to wonder had they really missed the Trudeau decade that prompted this? Did they not hear him talking about Canada having no culture now? How it was now postmodern? How it was now 40 million narratives? How he’d lowered the flag for six months in penance for racism and genocide? Apparently not, as they revived narratives from the 1980 Quebec referendum to stir the crowd.

Now, with the symbolic game lost, what’s next? For Team Canada, injured and humbled, there’s an afternoon tilt Monday in Boston against Finland. Only by beating the Finns can they get a revenge game against the American, this time before a hostile Boston crowd. Should they get there would it be Hudson Bay rules again? How will Americans respond? The mind boggles.

Had there not been such a dramatic political overtone, the attention of the media might have dwelt on the fact that this was the first Canada/ U.S. best-on-best contest in 12 years. Excluding the fights it was a monumental display of skill, stamina and, sadly for Canada, goaltending. Why the wait? NHL commissioner Gary Bettman always puts the league’s interests ahead of those who want to see the best players against each other. So expansion and outdoor games took precedence.

Ordinarily the smashing success of the tournament would shame the NHL into more such competitions. And indeed they are conceding to a schedule of Olympics (Italy in 2026) and World Cups in the next decade. As thrilling as any of those contests might be they will likely pale next to Saturday’s drama. In fact, only Game Eight of the 1972 Summit Series can match the explosive political and sports combination of Feb. 16, 2025.

Guesses are now being accepted over just what Canada and Canada’s hockey team’s program might look like by the end of the 2020’s. Once certainty— if the game Saturday is any indication fraternal friendship between the U.S. and Canada will be on hold for a while.

Bruce Dowbiggin @dowbboy is the editor of Not The Public Broadcaster  A two-time winner of the Gemini Award as Canada’s top television sports broadcaster. His new book Deal With It: The Trades That Stunned The NHL And Changed Hockey is now available on Amazon. Inexact Science: The Six Most Compelling Draft Years In NHL History, his previous book with his son Evan, was voted the seventh-best professional hockey book of all time by bookauthority.org. You can see all his books at brucedowbigginbooks.ca.

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